


don't know how it got this way

by dayevsphil



Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [15]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Introspection, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21806239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayevsphil/pseuds/dayevsphil
Summary: Phil knows he should just be happy that Dan and his parents get along so well, but it feels like he's missing so many steps in-between. Amnesia AU timestamp.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559110
Comments: 16
Kudos: 144





	don't know how it got this way

**Author's Note:**

> set in part two of amnesia au, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449553) if you're not familiar with it! 
> 
> prompted by insectbah <3
> 
> read and reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/189684322953/dont-know-how-it-got-this-way)

Like a lot of things that Phil’s anxiety builds up into something insurmountable in his mind, seeing his parents ends up not being so awful at all. They’re older, sure, and worried about him, but he expected that. His mum still smells like the same perfume she’s used since he was a kid, and his dad’s hug is as solid as it ever has been.

While Dan is gone to therapy and then napping, Phil and his parents play the most high-stakes game of Taboo they’ve ever attempted. Phil sees the grimace when he asks about his grandmother and he’s sure they see him tense up when they ask if the doctors have any answers yet, so instead they have a surface-level conversation about his parents’ retirement and his brother’s successes while avoiding all the depressing pitfalls. He’s sure that they won’t be able to keep this up indefinitely, but it’s putting him at ease for today.

Dan comes out of their room as Phil’s mum tries to figure out an app on her phone. His hair is a mess from where he’s slept on it and he’s got a pillow crease in one soft cheek, but he still smiles so warmly at them that Phil’s heart flips.

“Hey, thanks for letting me take a minute,” Dan says, pulling some stuff down from their cupboards to start making dinner. “What did I miss?”

“Mum’s trying to show me Cornelia’s music,” says Phil. He smiles across the table at his mum, who smacks at his arm like she knows exactly how much he wants to make fun of her right now. Not that he really has any leg to stand on, considering he’s over a decade out of date with technology as it is. “But she’s, er, having some trouble.”

“Daniel,” his mum says with a dramatic beckoning gesture.

It’s a familiar gesture, the same one she uses when the DVD player stops working or she can’t access her voicemail, but Phil has never heard her speak like that to someone that isn’t one of her sons.

Dan laughs. He leaves the vegetables on the chopping board and comes over to lean a bit into Phil’s mum’s space. “You lost Spotify again, huh? Where’d you last have it? Oh, look, there it is! Right where you left it.”

“Horrible boy,” Phil’s mum says, fondness dripping from her voice and making Phil’s chest feel tight. She reaches up and pats Dan’s soft cheek. “Thank you, dear.”

“Sure,” says Dan, warm. He presses a kiss to the side of Phil’s head on his way back to the kitchen. 

Even though he’s sure it’s beautiful, Phil has a hard time focusing on Cornelia’s sweet voice through the small speaker. He’s too busy watching Dan sing along under his breath as he chops things up for a stirfry. He’s pretty sure that he’s never seen Dan _out_ of his element, unless the hospital counts, but there’s something about his aura that’s just slotting into place here in a way Phil feels like he, himself, isn’t able to yet.

Dan looks at home. That’s the best way Phil can think to describe it.

“You still avoiding red meat, dad?” Dan asks like it’s nothing, like there’s nothing at all topsy-turvy for Phil about seeing a man he’s supposedly in love with so comfortable around his parents.

Phil’s parents don’t even blink at the title, so maybe it is nothing. Maybe he’s the only one freaking out about it at all, because he’s the only one who hasn’t come to terms with the fact that he’s out and in a committed relationship. His dad sighs and nods. It seems like he desperately wishes he could give Dan another answer.

“For now,” he says. “You still doing the same, then?”

The way Dan dimples over at them all makes Phil feel a dull ache at the thought that he’s missed so many moments like this. “Yessir. The vegan streak is going strong this time.”

“You’re vegan?” Phil can’t stop himself from blurting. He’s lived here for _weeks_ now, how hasn't he noticed?

Dan laughs. Throws his head back with it and everything. Phil’s parents exchange a knowing sort of grin, like this is the beginning of a conversation they’ve heard a thousand times. That unsettles Phil. He doesn’t know his lines.

“Most of the time,” says Dan. “You’re a very bad influence.”

“Too right,” Phil’s mum says, making the sort of ‘tsk’ sound that Phil is all too familiar with. “You’re far too skinny, love, don’t restrict yourself while you’re under so much stress.”

“I’m eating, mum.”

“Not enough!”

“I’m literally making food right now,” Dan laughs, showing her the empty skillet before he plops it on the hob. Phil’s mum makes another ‘tsk’ of a noise and Phil’s dad chuckles, and they all fit together so well that Phil starts to feel more and more of that ache, like he’s missing things he shouldn’t be. The warmth and the confusion and the bitterness are tangling into a knot at the base of his stomach that he’ll have to deal with sooner or later.

He chooses later.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you chicken!! and i hope y'all like this one i'm pretty proud of it tbh


End file.
